Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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