i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
