can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
