he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
