Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
