Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
