trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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