Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
