So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
