If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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