the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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