Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
