My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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