my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
