Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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