Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
