Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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