Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
