i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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