im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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