I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
