so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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