I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
