I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
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