Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
