i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
