i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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