what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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