I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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