I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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