either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
