i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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