dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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