; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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