yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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