We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
