im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
