I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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