Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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