K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
