he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
