oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
