yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
