it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
