And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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