My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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