i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
