I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
