I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Farmville is her only friend.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
