My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
