Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
